Twas the night before Christmas, when all through AGR
Not a brother was stirring, for they were all a the bar.
The beer cans were hung on the tree with care,
With hopes that this year's Santa, wouldn't be there.

Higley was nestled all snug in his bed,
While visions of blow jobs danced in his head.
And Jim in his 'kerchief, and English in his cap,
Had just blacked out their brains for a long winter's nap.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
Ruff fell from his loft to see what as the matter.
Away to the window he flew fast as Duclos,
Tore open the shutter and called for his bros.

The moon on the breast of the unraked leaves
Gave the lustre of day to Doug's face; displeased.
When, what to Ruff's blurred eyes should appear,
But Novo's wrecked car and eight dead reindeer.

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
Ruff knew in a moment, it was that short little prick.
More rapid then eagles Novo's vomit then came,
And he whistled, and booted, and screamed out some names!

"Now Dimi! now, Wallach! now, Peter and Grippen!
On, Chad! On, Rowan! On, Justin and Watson!
Hide these dead deer, for I killed them all!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, and mount to the sky.
So out to the dumpster the brothers then flew,
To dispose of the deer, and Novo's car too.

And then, in a twinkling, Ruff heard from above
The prancing and pawing of Bean making love.
As he Ruff drew in his head, and was turning around,
Down the ramp stairs, Bailey fell with a bound.

He was dress in fur from his head to his foot,
His face was all tarnished with resin and soot.
A sack full of booze he had flung on his back,
He looked like a child with a bottle of Jack.

His eyes-black and blue! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were all bloody; for his nose popped a cherry.
With drool on his mouth, and shit in his pants,
He mumbled, "tits!" and continued to prance.

The stump of a bowl, he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.
He had a broad face and big beer belly,
That shook when he puked, like bowlful of jelly!

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And Ruff laughed when he saw him, in spite of himself!
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave Ruff to know he had something to dread.

Bailey spoke not a work, but went straight to his work,
And drank every bottle, then turned with a jerk.
And laying his finger aside of his nose
He blew out some snot and then puked on his cloths.

He fell to the floor, to his bothers gave a groan,
Maietta declared it was time to go home.
But Ruff heard Bailey mumble as he was dragged out of sight,
"blah blah blab blah to all, blah blah blah blah, lets fight."

Merry Christmas (tomorrow).  I love you all!

Brother English