It's not just that they are Phat, it's also that they are Volkls! The next
step to ski Nirvana is to get a hold of the Volkl Vertigo Motions.

-----Original Message-----
From: Vermont Skiing Discussion and Snow Reports
[mailto:[log in to unmask]]On Behalf Of Matthew Reagan
Sent: Monday, December 03, 2001 10:37 AM
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: [SKIVT-L] Epi-phat-ny


The Prophet Jerm hath said "Go phat young man!"  And all those
afflicted with phrail skis longed for true spiritual enlightenment.
And it came to pass that a miracle touched the SkiVT list.  The
Pro-phat Ben Kulas (PBUH), who proved his divine nature by defying
thunder and lightning, held his 1-iron high and called the lost souls
of the internet to follow him.  From high in the Canadian Rockies, he
summoned dozens of pairs of supah-phat skis and sent them out across
the land to bring phloat to the phrail.  For he knows the price of
salvation--and it was $165 (plus applicable duty and fees).

This humble servant found a new epiphatny this Saturday at Kirkwood.
Five or six feet of snow dumped on the Sierra Crest after three
Pacific storms savaged the coast and horribly spotted-up the finishes
of immaculate Bay Area automobiles.  I put my phaith in the phat to
protect me from early-season rocks and stumps, and that phaith was
rewarded.

Skied the new 165cm Vertigos with brakeless alpine bindings and
homemade leashes ($0.99 of fluorescent paracord).  Mmm.  First run,
the phats phlew down some perfect packed powder--2" of fresh on top of
a machine-packed natural surface.  Surprisingly, they did very well.
The GS sidecut (identical to my 9.26's, believe it or not) made them
much less "hooky" then other short skis I've tried.  Lateral motions
over a wide stance generated smooth, round carved turns.  Only when
you'd crank the tails would you notice that, well, there isn't much
tail there!  They felt like a MUCH bigger ride than the 178cm K2
Merlin's I demoed a few seasons back.  As long as the surface was soft
enough to dig in a bit, the width didn't hinder edge-to-edge
transitions.  I was sitting on only 15mm of lift, and didn't notice
any problems getting 'em up and over.  The only odd thing was that
it's really easy to not only cross tips, but actually get one ski on
top of the other if you cruise with too narrow a stance!

The true nature of the phat, though, was when steep and deep
conditions appeared.  Some open northest aspects delivered some
seriously deep drifts, with variable windpack and a few scoured spots.
The phats phlew through all of it, riding high (rarely did my bindings
disappear) and transitioning effortlessly through variable snow.  The
difference between wind crust and deep pow was simply how high you'd
phloat.  Rollers, troughs, lumps, and crud could be seen but barely
felt.  A more conventional yank-and-crank technique let you turn on a
dime (slashing off the top layer of powder like you see in those
Valdez films), while lateral PerfectTurn(tm) style carving let you
simply ride over the snow surface like it was a virtual groomed trail.
Stability at speed was tested up to 36.2mph (5 sec GPS averaging) with
no wobbles in the soft and only a little insecurity on the packed.  I
only found one windblown spot to try them on actual hardpack, and they
were certainty no worse than my soft Tuas for scrrraping scrrratchy
snow.  One ill-advised tree run (they breed big rocks and stumps out
West!)  demonstrated their turniness.  At 165cm, you just point 'em
where you need 'em to go, and you go there.  Easy.

As I cruised along in a spiritual reverie, I forget about my ski
partners.  Poor, enlightened souls--they were skiing on phrail
"rockers" with 55mm waists and 10mm sidecuts.  And let it be known
that it is easier for ASC to make a profit than it is for the phrail
of ski to pass through phoul, variable, and crusty conditions!  They
skidded on the scour, cratered in the crust, and stuck fast in the
slop.  Poor souls.  Have they not heard the words of the pro-phat?  I
made sure they did.

Thanks, Ben, for some phine skis.

-Matt
http://reagan.mitoc.org/

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