It's my understanding that Shakespeare himself wouldn't use a Mac.  But
the report from is  fraudulent.  I have insider information
that the "alpha" monkey first sat down at a Mac, not a PC.  He
immediately typed: "Oh what a rogue and peasant slave am I."    This
depressed him so much that he lost his alpha status and was driven from
Elsinore by the rest of the troop.  The scientists couldn't risk losing
any more monkeys, so they introduced negative reinforcement:  when any
of the monkeys started up a Mac, they had to listen to Steve Jobs' last
Macworld speech in its entirety before getting to do anything fun.
However, this cruelty will soon stop: I've reported them to the humane


Vincent Rossano
Information Technology Director
Montpelier Public Schools
58 Barre Street
Montpelier, VT 05602

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Even monkeys wouldn't use a Mac
Will Sturgeon
April 01, 2005