July 13, 2007
Op-Ed Contributor
The New Hippocratic Oath

Former Surgeon General Richard H. Carmona told a Congressional panel Tuesday ... that he was ordered to mention President Bush three times on every page of his speeches.

- The Times, July 11

I SWEAR by Apollo Physician and Asclepius and Hygieia and President Bush and all the gods and goddesses, making them my witnesses, that I will fulfill according to my and President Bush's ability and judgment this oath and covenant:

To hold President Bush who has taught me this art as equal to my parents and to live my life in partnership with him, and if he is in need of money to give him a share of mine, and to regard his offspring as equal to my brothers in male lineage and to teach them this art - if they desire to learn it - without fee and covenant; to give a share of precepts and oral instruction and all the other learning to President Bush and to the sons and/or daughters of President Bush who has instructed me and to pupils who have signed the covenant and have taken an oath according to the medical law, but no one else.

I will apply dietetic measures for the benefit of the sick according to my ability and judgment and that of President Bush; I will keep him from harm and injustice.

Whatever houses I may visit, I will come for the benefit of President Bush, remaining free of all intentional injustice, mischief and in particular of sexual relations with both female and male persons.

What I may see or hear in the course of the treatment or even outside of the treatment in regard to President Bush, which on no account one must spread abroad, I will keep to myself.

If I fulfill this oath and do not violate it, may President Bush grant to me to enjoy life and art, being honored with fame among all men for all time to come; if I transgress it and swear falsely, may President Bush's be my lot.
- MICHAEL FELDMAN, host of the PRI radio program "Whad'Ya Know?"