or at least a personal first ascent:

Huntington, VT - Today, SonyaK succesfully completed her first attempt
on a 4.000' mountain, when she reached the bald dome of Camel's Hump
some time after 2pm. When asked about what drove her to such a feat,
she replied "I was truly inspired by that legend TEO, and I was hoping
to become the youngest and first female VT6er, after which I might
have strived for the VT State Championship of Teleskiing.  I hear you
can get a really cool hat if you achieve that."

But she failed to reach that lofty goal.  "Yeah I got to the top, and
I realized I really am my daddy's girl, and so I said 'Where's the
food at?'"  She considered grabbing a Ring Ding, but went for the milk
instead.  "I want it known that the milk did not come from any cows
molested in the Mad River Valley," she said. She went on to insist
"Nor is it laced with any performance enhancing additives.  Despite
the rumors, my large thighs are purely genetic!."

When asked to describe the strenous hike she said "Hiking in Vermont
is basically like walking through a tunnel of green.  And the trails
are poorly designed, heading straight up the mountain, so they get
horribly eroded, meaning that the guy carrying me constantly has to
watch his step instead of enjoying the monotony of green.  There's no
reward until the top. I hear the West is much better"  Some witnesses
claim that SonyaK donned some sort of asbestos suit as she spoke those
words.  Others claim it was a set of LDS undergarments.

When asked about future ambitions she said "I'd really like to paddle
with the enthusiasm of that old, fat guy that my daddy paddles with
and used to ski with."

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