Print

Print


Allentown? Hmmm, it's to the West and close enough to the East Coast so
that I won't be ridiculed.  Plus there's the Poconos, ooops, I mean the
Pocanos.  Might be too far south, though, as I consider anything south
of Interstate 80 to be Dixie.

        Not to put down Miguel but Allentown is Puerto Rican central.
40 percent of my high school was Puerto Rican and equal amounts were on
welfare.  Don't get me wrong some of those Puerto Rican girls were hot
but they were mostly a bunch of assholes who would rather go to jail
than college.  The job market in the Allentown area is also terrible.
All the Lehigh graduates move out of the area upon graduation.  After
you account for the Puerto Ricans, the white trash, and all the old
people you have a small population of professionals that I would
consider my parents and their friends part of that group.  Also
Allentown doesn't have many Northface wearing healthy people like
Burlington.  There are so many fat people.  Pennsylvania has the highest
per capita food consumption in the US.  There are plenty of Overweight
woman who work Walmart and have husbands who wear Marlboro jackets and
sit at home and watch Jerry Springer.  Sometimes these people go night
skiing at Blue mountain after they get drunk.  Has anybody ever driven
through downtown Allentown.  The Hamilton mall used to the hub of the
city with stores and the first Hess's and Leh's now it's a few crappy
stores and plenty of homeless people.  People complain about crime in
Burlington, we had 15 murders this year in a city of 100,000.  Our
prison is nicer than the high school.  The funny thing is there are
$500,000-$1,000,000 dollar houses on the outshirts of Allentown that
house Docters, Lawyers, and Air Products execs.  Sure Allentown is 17
miles from Blue mountain but you don't want to live there.  On second
thought we do have the great Allentown fair and there's nothing like
watching 100,000 tatooed rednecks walking around in Mettalica shirts and
watching two fat lady's wrestling in mud.



        Doug